惜取此时心

本以为此刻会有千言万语。没想到，静下来的一刻，却竟是无语。

长长的一天，多次的泪水决堤。多次的心灵触动。

学生也好，朋友也好，亲人也好。

太多太多的感动。沉沉地压在心。也就无语。

真的，写不出。今天发生的种种，在学校的部门，4I, 4J , 4D，武术。朋友接续不断的简讯与电话。家人，亲人，朋友上门的问候。

不是不想写，不是不想记。但有些事，我选择记在心里。

方文山有词曰，邀明月，让回忆皎洁。

也许如此的选择，是愿回忆长藏在心，惟有月色分明。

都问，期待吗？

刚刚几分钟前收拾完，林问我时，才认真想这个问题。

期待吗？

六年半的等待，就剩一夕。

期待吗？

还是无语。

时间， 真的是眨眼而逝。

方文山有另一句词，仿佛回应上一句。月色被打捞起，晕开了结局。积累了回忆后 ，结局是如何，谁也不晓得。

对着身边的人，不是不舍得。

每一个都不舍得。

最近读了本小说，其中有一句，蛮喜欢。

明朝即长路，惜取此时心。

不敢承诺些什么。未来有太多的未知。有时有些事，不是有心就能维此的。
但，我的那位你。若你读到也好，没读到也好。

我都想告诉你。

无论未来是否会不会再见。再见时此情是否依旧。

相信，我不会忘记。

此刻。此情。我们共有的回忆。

珍重。我在世界的某一角，祝福着。

Sex and the City

23 days and counting… my days are packed and my bags aren’t… not a very good combination.

Been sneaking episodes of Sex and the City in between, work, dates, packing and sleep…

Xinyi lent them to me after I caught the film with her. She can’t believe that I haven’t watched a single episode before. They are addictive and good, despite the fact that sometimes I so want to slap Carrie. Am I the only one who thinks she’s irritating? I liked her enough in the film, but in the TV shows, there are times when her neuroses are frankly grating on my nerves.

I think the episodes are the only thing that’s keeping me sane right now. I have a schedule that’s unbelievable and work so piled that I’m starting to run on 4 hours of sleep per day… and thinking about cutting back to 2. In fact, have cut back to 2 last night. Meals are down to 2 a day, hopefully the first isn’t simply fruits. And my temper is getting so short, that even I pity my students who are mostly getting the brunt of it as I have no patience left and snap at them almost every lesson.

And so, to survive it all. I’m turning to Sex. And the City. And yes, I know I shouldn’t! So I sneak them like I’m doing drugs. Illicitly. I watch them on the laptop with the earphones while hidden in the corner of my room. An episode here and an episode there. One after marking 10 essays. Just one after a shower while waiting for my hair to dry. One after packing a box cause I’m too tired to move anyway. One just before I sleep. And yes, occasionally, I can’t stop myself and go on a binge, especially on weekend nights where I finish 6 episodes at a go. 20 mins per episode. I’m down to only Season 5 & 6.

It’s supposed to reflect the real lives of women. But somehow, it doesn’t to me. These women. They aren’t living real lives. They have problems and dysfunctional relationships and make tons of mistakes. But that doesn’t constitute real lives… somehow… they don’t have the uncertainness that mortals have… the lost and “I have no freaking idea what the hell I’m doing” & the “I think I’m destroying my life but I’m not sure and I don’t know how the hell to be and even if I do, I don’t know how to stop myself”…

Too often, we hear the line:

“It was then that Carrie/Miranda/Charlotte/Samantha realized, that….., and she (made some whatever important decision)”

And that’s not real. We don’t have that. There isn’t a moment that we “realize” anything. And even if we do, what we “realize” probably isn’t true and just what we *think* we “realize”.

But, whatever. It’s still a fun show with lots of great lines. And, it’s playing a big part in keeping me away from tearing my hair out and running away to the states early with only my passport in my hands.

Disneyland, Oriental-Style

Took a detour through chinatown today between oral examinations and a dinner date at Clarke Quay. I can barely recognize the place. I felt like a tourist. Hell, anyone would feel like a tourist. It’s like Disneyland, Oriental-style. There are pedestrian streets complete with paris-style street cafes and German wurstelstands selling kasekrainer (which I was actually tempted to buy in memory of my 04 Europe trip). Colorful swatches of fabrics reminiscence of Thai street markets gleamed with polished slabs of seals.

Never underestimate the power of commercialism.

I always knew Chinatown has turned into a tourist stop. The rainbow of colors splashed over the rows of shophouses and the overpriced hawker fare at Smith St. was hard to overlook. But, when did it totally lose its soul?

The epitome of “tourist spot”. When a place exists sole for tourists. and became an oxymoron in itself.

I think about the Chinatown that was. And never would be again.

Thanks heaven for the groups of checkers-playing old men next to the brand new temple. who incidentally still spat on the floor after clearing their throat. the only identity of Chinatown.

p.s. Am I the only one who blinked at the transliteration of Temple Street, two different ones side by side? What’s wrong with a direct translation of Temple?